For The Best
by Mac-alicious
Summary: Five times Quinn knew that her decision to give away Beth was for the best. Companion to Daddy Loves You. I strongly suggest you read that one first. More info inside. One-shot.


**A/N:** The first story, _Daddy Loves You_, was written after Season 1 but prior to Season 2, so it contained allusions to things that happened in Season 1, but didn't reflect anything that happened with Quinn/Puck/Beth/Shelby that happened after _Journey_. This oneshot, while written post Season 3, is centered in the world of _Daddy Loves You, _so it too reflects only on things that happened in Season 1 and in the companion story. This story shows Quinn's POV from the same plot events in _Daddy Loves You_, though section 5 goes a little further into the future than in DLY. It's separated into five parts, each one moving forward in time bit by bit, and then to about ten years after season one (making Beth around 10 turning 11 and the Glee Clubbers around 26-27 during the wedding) and then a brief reflection on years that followed that ten year mark. Enjoy. R&R! Thanks! –Mac

**I strongly suggest reading **_**Daddy Loves You**_** first, this pulls directly from that story. Quinn responds to things that are only explicit in DYL in some parts. To understand those parts you would need to read the other story. This **_**can**_** stand alone, but you might lose some of the significance of some things. It is, of course, up to you. **

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE.

**For The Best**

-1-

Quinn has always felt wary of trusting her security to Puck. It has more to do with who he was before she got pregnant, than how he has been since because so far he is trying his hardest to be what she needs, to give her what she needs. Living with Puck and his family was not where she had imagined she'd end up, but she couldn't take living with Finn when he pretended she didn't exist. So she ends up living in Puck's bedroom while he crashes on the couch. It's not ideal, but the way Puck looks at her reassures her that she's not invisible.

For awhile, puck tries to prove to her that they could be good together if they were together for real. Quinn doesn't feel like she's capable of any kind of relationship with anyone, not while she's pregnant, not while she's in the middle of this mess. She knows that Puck thinks it's personal, that she just doesn't want to be with him, but it's not. She thinks maybe she should explain that to him, because if there was anyone she _would_ try with it would be him, but she never can find the words. Instead, she does her best to not lead him on while not pushing him away anymore.

Even with Puck always there for her, things are harder than she can handle sometimes. Puck's mother is always looking at her like she should be there. The woman is providing Quinn with a roof over her head, keeping her fed and refraining from complaining about doing either. Puck's mother has opened her home to Quinn because it's the right thing to do, yet Quinn still feels unwelcome. She knows it's probably just the hormones exaggerating everything—a pregnancy symptom she still hasn't gotten used to—but she really just wants to go home to her own parents and sleep in her own bed. The fact that she can't do that makes tears well up in her eyes. Once the tears start, she starts thinking about all the other reasons why she should cry and then there is no end to the rivers of tears. She finds herself curled up on Puck's bed, unable to stem the tears.

The door is pushed open and Puck hesitates in the doorway. She assumes he thinks she hasn't noticed him and she lets him. He is probably debating about whether he can escape before he is sucked in, and she wonders which would hurt most, if he decided to leave or if he decided to stay. She hates letting people see her like this. Of all the people involved in her mess, she is the one who should be able to keep it together. A part of her wants to tell Puck to leave before he can say anything to make her feel worse, but another part of her needs someone to take care of her. She says nothing and he crawls onto the bed beside her.

Puck pulls her into his arms and maybe she should push him away, but she doesn't. She is so tired of putting up the front. Pretending to be strong when she is slowly falling apart has been exhausting. She goes limp in his arms and cries harder. She cries for her admission to herself that she can't do it all alone. She needs Puck more than she wanted to admit.

She nuzzles against his neck, "Stay with me?"

The request surprises her even as she makes it. And he stays, which surprises her even more. She knows that Puck has never been big on dealing with emotional girls and she is currently making a mess of his shirt with her tears. She appreciates the gesture too much to express in words.

"Just don't leave," Quinn murmurs, settling in against him. "Everyone else has left me."

As she says the words, she means her parents, her family, but also Finn. When she had believed Puck wouldn't be able to step up, she had counted on Finn to stand by her. She lost all that when the truth came out. That loss still hurts her, makes her feel abandoned even though she can accept her fault in it, and leaves her missing Finn. That pain has begun to dissipate the closer she gets to Puck though. Every time Puck stands strong, when he probably instinctively wants to run in the other direction, Quinn is reassured that they'll make it somehow, even if it's just the two of them.

With that thought, Quinn begins to doze off. She doesn't remember dreaming, but she remembers feeling warm and safe. When she wakes up, she is lying at the pillows by herself and Puck is further down the bed by her belly. She is about to make him aware of her being awake, but his voice stops her. His voice is a soft whisper as he talks to their unborn child. Quinn stays perfectly still, so she doesn't disrupt him as she listens.

She almost laughs at Puck's story about how he once thought pregnancy worked, but she caught it before she made a sound. Then his voice turned serious and he says, "I just wanted to say that your Daddy loves you and your Mommy." To hear him say those words makes her heart swell. She knows that a part of Puck must care a lot, but to hear him use the word love makes her an entirely different kind of happy. What follows that sentence is all of the things she has thought but has been unable to say to herself. For a moment, she didn't feel so guilty for giving up their baby. It helps that Puck understands her reasons and doesn't think it has anything to do with him or not wanting their child. Even though she sometimes thinks she could be a really great mother and she is starting to think Puck could be a good father, she still knows deep down that two teenagers don't have the resources to give a baby the life it deserves. They don't have the same resources the adopting families are going to have. Giving the baby up for adoption really is for the best.

Puck moves back up to the head of the bed to lie beside her. Quinn sighs and settles back against him. She keeps up the illusion of still being asleep, but she wants to be close to him. His arms go around her and he presses a kiss to her hair. Puck falls asleep next to her, but she stays awake for awhile just being in his arms in such an innocent manner. She thinks to herself about the possibilities that will await their baby. She pictures the happy future their baby is sure to have, and it almost doesn't hurt as much when she doesn't picture herself and Puck sharing it with her.

Quinn doesn't tell Puck the next morning that she was awake to hear his words, despite the comfort they unintentionally gave her. She thinks maybe she never will. She lets him have the private moment he thought was his alone. It isn't until years later, when they are near to breaking up, that she shares the fact that she had heard every word.. She tells him how much they meant to her at the time. It was that moment that she really started to fall in love with him. The revelation postpones the inevitable for a little while longer, but it's not enough to save them. She hopes maybe that means that's for the best as well.

-2-

Quinn doesn't want to name the baby. She thinks giving their daughter a name will make it all the harder to hand her over to someone else. Even if she did want to name her, it's obvious she can't trust the men in her life to provide any useful input. First it was Finn's suggestion of Drizzle. Quinn can barely warrant that one with a sarcastic comment. The idea of naming a child Drizzle pretty much mocks itself. She hadn't thought anything could top that, but Puck's Jackie Daniels comes pretty close. When he suggests it, she thinks maybe he's joking. Then she starts to think she had been wrong about Puck and he was making a joke of their whole situation. It's a momentary thought, because she realizes this is Puck trying to do something significant in the only way he knows how. After that it's hard to hold it against him, despite how ridiculous the name is.

Then he and the other guys sing that song and although everyone else is there, when Puck looks at her it's almost like it's just the two of them. He is giving Quinn and their daughter something special, something they can share even after the baby has been adopted by another family. The name, Beth, was perfect. It was beautiful and special, and it holds some kind of significance that they can cherish.

They will be able to give their daughter something meaningful that she can take with her out into the world. She can take it with her when they are no longer with her. Reassured of the love Puck has for the child, Quinn knows he will understand that her decision is for the best. If he needs their daughter to have a name to be able to accept that, then she can be okay with that.

-3-

Quinn is barely able to contain her excitement after their Regionals performance. Her euphoria is only heightened by her mother's presence and what she has to say. Then the contractions start and all that is wiped away as she can only comprehend the intense pain. In the lull between contractions, it hits her that she is about to bring her daughter into the world. For a moment, she pictures Beth—part Puck and part her—and what it would be like if they kept her. It's a pretty picture and it's what she holds onto as the contractions start again. It's the only thing that gets her through the labor—that and having Puck by her side the entire time.

Quinn is not sure what she says in the middle of the chaos that is giving birth. She thinks she might have told Puck that he sucks once or twice and blamed him for doing this to her, but it's all a blur in her pain hazed memory.

What she does remember with perfect clarity is seeing Beth for the first time and the way her daughter was wailing her tiny lungs out. Quinn can just imagine the voice she's going to have when she's older. The picture of her and Puck and Beth is expanding. She can see them teaching Beth to walk and talk, and when Beth is older, teaching her to sing and dance and play guitar. It's a beautiful picture and it brings tears to her eyes.

Quinn can't hold Beth. She knows that if she does, she'll want to make that picture in her head reality and she can't do that to anyone involved. Beth will be better off in the arms of an adoptive mother. And though it hurts to deny herself even that small moment to pretend Beth will be hers forever, she knows that's the way it has to be.

She does allow herself to watch Beth for awhile through the nursery window. Puck is with her and she feels like the only thing holding them together is now separated from them by a wall of glass. She's suddenly afraid that he is going to leave her now that they won't have Beth anymore. She asks him the question before she can stop herself. She expects the answer to be no, but instead he says, "Yes, especially now." The next question is met by silence and is enough to tell her that Puck is not on the same page about giving up Beth. But he has to get there eventually, because it's the right choice. Quinn knows it. At least Puck isn't pretending to agree with her. She wouldn't want him to lie to her or himself for any reason.

Shelby Corcoran appears and, almost instinctively, Quinn knows why the woman is there. Shelby asks what their daughter's name is and Quinn says she doesn't have one because she doesn't want anything to stand in the way of Beth finding a good home. Her worries are unfounded because Shelby compliments the name and Quinn sees where all this is going. Shelby eventually leaves and Quinn goes as well, leaving Puck lingering by the nursery.

Quinn hopes that Puck can come to terms with what is happening in some way. She copes by curling up on her hospital bed and crying every tear she has left in her. She cries and she plays out in her mind every day of the life she would have had if she kept Beth. She imagines every possibility and then boxes it up and puts it away. She says a goodbye to that life and welcomes what is to ahead of her, knowing with certainty that it's the future that's in everyone's best interest.

-4-

Summer is almost torture to Quinn. She thought she had detached herself from Beth, but a part of her still reaches out for the part of herself that is missing. She tries to put Beth out of her mind, pretend that she isn't dying inside without her daughter in her arms. It doesn't work, but she's always been very good at keeping up a façade in front of others. She puts up a front for everyone around her, especially Puck. She can see in his eyes that he is hurting too, but Quinn knows the second they both acknowledge any kind of regret, they won't be able to pull themselves together again.

It's hard with Beth so close. She is reminded of her daughter's absence every time she sees Rachel. It's a bizarre connection they all have, and Quinn has to force herself to think of other things so she can keep it together around her would-be friend. She can barely believe that this is how it ended up: her daughter, fathered by Puck, has been adopted by Shelby, who is Rachel's biological mother. It's that same connection that Puck plans to exploit so that they can have some kind of glimpse into Beth's life.

Quinn says things she doesn't mean in response to hearing this plan, starting with calling Puck an idiot. These are the things she has to say, the things she has to believe, to make it though the day. They are no longer Beth's parents, Beth will never know them as her parents, and any relationship short of being her parents will only hurt them more in the end. They need to accept their Beth-less reality and get on with it. This is their life now. She won't let him ruin the illusion she's created.

The moment Puck goes to Rachel to reconnect with Beth, Quinn knows it. The pain in his eyes lessens and he seems lighter somehow. She's not sure what Rachel gave him, but it helped him. Despite not wanting any part of it, Quinn is glad Puck is happier.

When he tries to show her the photos of Beth that he has acquired, Quinn has a minor meltdown. She was just about prepared to never see Beth again and then there she is, albeit in digital form. It's almost enough to break her heart again. She doesn't talk to Puck for three days and she only comes around on the third day because she gets a hold of his phone and actually looks at the photos of Beth. She doesn't tell him that she did and he doesn't bring them up again.

Quinn sees the pictures differently than Puck. He sees them as a way of being involved in Beth's life. Quinn sees them as an affirmation of her choice to not be involved. In every picture, Beth looks _happy_ and that's enough to show Quinn that her daughter is in the right hands. Beth will have a good life with Shelby and that's all Quinn's ever wanted.

-5-

Through the rest of high school, Quinn and Puck date off and on. She wants to make it work without having to break up all the time, but there are some things she just can't fix. They make each other better and they bring out their worst qualities. It's a struggle trying to find balance. The end of their high school careers marks the end of something else too—something she doesn't realize until sometime later.

When they were still at McKinley, they were the only ones who truly understood what the other had gone through. It was the reason they kept coming back every time they called it quits. She could date good guys who treat her like a princess, but they would never have the kind of bond with her like she had with Puck. They had suffered together, strived together, and survived together. Even the most perfect relationship would never have the same depth as hers and Puck's.

When they leave for college, things change. Quinn hopes for a clean slate. She wants to live her life where others don't see her as the pregnant cheerleader. Puck doesn't see it the same way. He wants to improve himself and prepare for a better future. College is the way to do that. As much as he is ready to move on into the future, he has no intention of shedding the past in the process.

Beth is still a part of Puck's life—not as the baby they gave up, but as a little girl growing up picture by picture. Quinn has stumbled upon some of those pictures every now and again. It's hard not to when he has them everywhere—on his phone, on his computer, hidden away in between book pages. Their difference in opinion on the subject of Beth tears them apart more than their shared experience holds them together. She loves Puck, she really does, but it kills her because she knows he thinks she never loved him. She doesn't know how to prove to him that she does anymore. It eats her up inside because she starts to resent Puck—not so much because Puck has the strength to watch Beth grow up without him, but because she doesn't.

Puck breaks up with her for the last time and she has felt it coming for a long time. She tries to delay it, she tries to pretend like she understands and she still feels a little shocked when he actually goes through with it. She knows that maybe it's the right thing for them to do, but still she fights him. He tells her he will always love her and then breaks up with her. Her pride makes her refuse to go down without a fight. Her fear of abandonment makes her beg. In the end, he says his final words and she recoils. She doesn't want this to be about Beth, but since that night when she gave all of herself to Puck it's always been about Beth. It isn't until she realizes this and accepts this that she is able to let him go.

They both eventually move on. Quinn keeps tabs on Puck as best she can. She knows that he graduated from college and took his degree with him back to Lima. Quinn takes a little longer to graduate because she rethinks a lot of things after Puck breaks up with her, but she makes it. She doesn't go back to Lima. She stays where she's at and makes it her new home. It's fitting that Puck goes home and she doesn't. His life is centered around Lima, and hers is centered around anywhere but Lima. She doesn't cut all ties with her hometown. Her family still lives there and she's kept in touch with a good number of her friends from high school. She visits Lima once and awhile, but her life is established elsewhere.

Quinn spends a few years on her own, building her career and growing stronger as an individual. Eventually, she starts dating. She longs for a relationship. She craves love and affection. She wants all the normal things: marriage and a family. It takes awhile and a few guys who don't last past the first date. Then she meets Daniel. He smiles at her from across the room at one of her work friend's anniversary party. He's a friend of her friend's husband. Her friend introduces Quinn to him and they make conversation for the rest of the party. As they walk out together and he helps her with her coat, he asks for her number. He requests her company for dinner a couple nights later and she accepts. The find they have a lot in common, he makes her laugh, and when he kisses her goodnight she feels it from her head to her toes. IT's the first time she's felt anything like that for anyone since Puck.

She and Daniel are together for six months when he proposes. It is one of the happiest moments in her life. Daniel comes from a small family and Quinn doesn't want too much of her past to intrude upon her happy future, so they get married in a small ceremony consisting mostly of family and a few mutual friends. A couple months later they are still in the honeymoon phase when Daniel brings up starting a family.

"What do you think about kids?" Daniel asks one morning while they're cuddling together in bed. "I mean, how many do you want? I've always wanted at least three."

Quinn hesitates in answering. She never told Daniel about Beth. It isn't because she is ashamed of her daughter, or her decision to give her up for adoption. She just couldn't find the words to express that part of her life to him. Now she feels like if she keeps it from him any longer, it will be deceitful. She doesn't want to hide or keep secrets, so she tells him everything.

"Daniel, I want to tell you something," Quinn begins.

"Oh man, I didn't bring this up too quickly, did I? I just wanted it on the table. I've always wanted a big family, as an only child, but I don't want to pressure you into anything," Daniel says.

"No, it's not that—"

"Do you even want kids?" Daniel questions. "It's—it's alright if you don't—we can—"

"I want kids," Quinn puts a hand on Daniel's face to calm him down. "Of course, I want kids. I just—there's some things I need to tell you about when I was younger, that I probably should have told you a long time ago."

"You can tell me anything, you know."

"When I was in high school, I got pregnant," Quinn says finally. "She was a beautiful baby girl. We named her Beth, the father and I. Neither of us were ready to be parents, so we…we put her up for adoption. I have a daughter out there in the world and she has no idea who I am. I needed you to know that because I'm going to approach having children a lot differently than you are."

Daniel looks at her without speaking for a few minutes. Then he leans over and kisses her softly, "That must have been a very hard decision. I knew you were strong, but I never imagined how much. We won't ever rush into anything. We'll take our time making the best choice for both of us."

Quinn had been momentarily terrified that Daniel would hate her for what she had done, but she should have known that he would handle her confession with grace. She talks about Beth and Puck with him some more over the next few weeks as they continue to talk about when will be the right time to start trying to have a baby of their own. She finally feels ready to move forward without having to ignore her past, so they began trying to get pregnant.

It's around that time that she gets the invitation to Rachel and Finn's wedding. Quinn has kept casual contact with them and she is about to accept the invitation when she receives a call from the bride-to-be herself. They make small talk for awhile and play catch up. Quinn tells Rachel about married life and Rachel shares stories from the chaos of wedding plans. Then Rachel tells Quinn the real reason that she called.

"I know it's a sore subject for you Quinn," Rachel begins. "So I felt I had to tell you that Shelby is going to be at the wedding and she's bringing Beth. She's alright with you and Puck meeting Beth if you don't say anything about being her parents. Of course, it's up to you. Finn and I will understand if it's too hard for you. We'd rather have an empty chair than make one of our best friends uncomfortable."

"Did you tell Puck? Is he going?" Quinn responds.

"I didn't tell him, no," Rachel answers, "but I know he has different feelings about this kind of thing. He already RSVPed, though, so yes, I suppose he is coming."

"He should meet her," Quinn smiles to herself for a second. "It's what he's always wanted. I can't though, I'm just not—I've gotten this far and I can't risk going back to the place I was that first summer. Tell Shelby…tell her thank you for the opportunity, but I can't do it."

Quinn gets off the phone before the tears start to fall. She doesn't want Rachel to know what a kick in the gut the whole thing was. Daniel finds her some time later and holds her until the sobs subside. After that she is able to be happy again. Puck needs to meet their daughter. That is his way of moving on. And though he would probably say she is just trying to replace Beth, Quinn needs to start over with her own family. When she finds out she is pregnant a few days after Rachel Berry becomes Mrs. Hudson, Quinn relinquishes any hold she still has on Beth to Shelby and Puck. She takes texts about how beautiful, sweet and funny Beth is from all her old friends, in stride. She no longer falls apart at the sound of Beth's name. She is strong and she is in control of her life. Beth is no longer something tangible—not like the new baby growing inside of her. Instead, Beth is an idea—and idea of what Quinn's life could have been. It's a pretty idea, but it doesn't belong to her anymore.

At first Quinn didn't believe Daniel when he said she was strong, but now she realizes she and Puck had both been strong in different ways. Puck is strong because he can build a life that includes the daughter he gave up in any capacity. He can see her without her knowing who he really is. Quinn couldn't do that, but she can do something Puck can't. Quinn is strong because she can let go of Beth without trying to take back her decision for selfish reasons. She can do that because it's the right thing to do.

Her first child with Daniel is a boy, and that's probably better for her though she had wished for a blonde haired baby girl. Over the course of their marriage, they have two more to make Daniel's three. The second is also a boy and Quinn imagines this is what's meant to be, because no daughter she has now is going to be Beth. The last is a girl, though she is dark haired and dark eyed like her father. By the time she has her daughter, Quinn finds that she has no regrets. She has three beautiful children with her husband; she has love all around her and she can give her children everything they need for a happy, love-filled life.

Quinn still looks for Beth in the faces of blonde haired women on the street sometimes. Her breath still catches in her throat when the song that gave Beth her name comes on the radio. Every now and again there will be things that remind her of Puck and Beth, but she can only hope that her first-born is out there leading a happy, love-filled life as well. It's a strange emotion that grows out of not really knowing where Beth is or what she's doing, because she is still Quinn's flesh and blood. She can cope with it because she knows deep down that with the people Beth has in her life, she will find happiness. Quinn knows that her choices were for the best and everyone, herself included, is right where they belong.

-fin-


End file.
